WAHAHAHAHHAA

i think im going bonkerS! i read this joke... and laugh like nuts!! wahahahah!!!
here goes!

-------------------------------------Bill And Hill------------------------------------
Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping one night at the White House. Hillary
wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wakeup." Bill
stays sleeping. Hillary continues, "Bill, Bill wake up." Bill finally
wakes up and says, "What do you want?"

Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom."

To which Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell Me
you have to go to the bathroom.

Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."

----------------------The Monk(not valmond =p)---------------------

There once was a man and his family that lived in a little old
village. One day he was driving along and was hit by a
semi-truck. All of his family was killed and he was severely
injured. Because of his injuries and the time it took, he was
fired from his job.

Seeing the bad shape he was in, a group of monks decided to take
him in. They gave him the job of ringing the bell.

One Sunday, while the man was ringing the bell, the rope
snapped. He was so worried about his job that he ran up the
three flights of stairs. Upon reaching the top, he began to hit
the bell with his fists, but it didn't work. So he began to ring
the bell with his head. It made a loud, grand ringing sound.
Unfortunately, the man became dizzy and fell down the bell tower
to his death.

Later that day the police arrived. All of the monks were out to
help answer any question they could. "Does anyone know this
man's name?" asked on of the police officers. One of the monks
turned to him and said, "I don't know his name, but his face
sure rings a bell."

------------Women's Language------------------------------------
A must-read for all men.
Keywords and their meanings:

FINE:
This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel
we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to
describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of
those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES:
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that
your football game is going to last before you take out the
trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING:
This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing"
is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting
to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"
usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and
end with a huffy "Fine."

GO AHEAD (with raised eyebrows):
This is a dare, one that will result in my getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (normal eyebrows):
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't
care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few
minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to
you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

(LOUD SIGH):
This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal
statement very misunderstood by men.
A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment
and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you over "Nothing."

(SOFT SIGH):
Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one
of the few things that some men actually understand. She is
content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will
stay content.

OH!:
This exclamation, followed by any statement, is trouble.
Example:
"Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you
were doing last night."
If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the
nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is
done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her
to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh" as the lead to a
sentence usually signifies that you are
caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you
will get raised eyebrows and "Go ahead" followed by acts so
unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

THAT'S OK:
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can
say to a man. "That's OK" means that she wants to think long and
hard before paying you retributions for what ever it is that you
have done.
"That's OK" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in
conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in
the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going
to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO:
This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you
the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have
for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair
chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's OK."

THANKS:
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say, "You're
welcome."

THANKS A LOT:
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks
A LOT," when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that
you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by
the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the
"Loud Sigh," as she will only
say "Nothing."
-----------------------------------------------------------
LOL!

GP Articles(Mainly Mass Media, frmo Mr Seah's P drive or sth lidat..most of u haev it liao..
the file name "GP Stuff"
http://s12.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=0NJ3PFIJ8O7ZE3NOJKW9ZE97FH

anyways...other gp essays related links.. organised more properly..(credits to JS)
http://schools.moe.edu.sg/rjc/subjects/english/gp/downloads/index.htm#essays.
http://www.nytheredpill.info/gpessays.htm
http://web.singnet.com.sg/~jasvic/gprepN96.html


zhongwei

JOKES

Hey people! Knowing that the General Paper promotional examination is just round the corner, I shall attempt to speak (or rather, type) in perfect english! With the exception of our dearest everything-is-sian-to-me-and-therefore-i-blog-to-reduce-boredom Zhongwei, and your dearest i-blog-because-i-don't-want-my-friends-to-die-of-stress-or-boredom, Miss Nice (aka me), I expect no one else will spend their precious time on blogging. However, as I've said, I don't want my dear classmates to visit our blog and tear out all their hair in frustration because no one bothered to blog and relieve them of stress. So as always, being the nice girl that I am, I will attempt to be like our class jokers, Zhongwei and Jian Sheng, and blog some nice jokes for you. With a little exception though. My jokes will not leave you shivering in your seat despite the sweltering hot weather we have to endure in Singapore. So, do take a little break from all that studying and find time to laugh! Enjoy~

*Pause* JS is sending me GP essays that he claims I won't understand. You don't know how excited I am! I'll blog the jokes after I am done with the GP essays. Pray that I won't faint after the 'english' overdosage, otherwise, you'll have no jokes! The excitememt is killing me! (Just in case you were wondering, there is ABSOLUTELY NO sarcasm intended, neither is this a joke. So there~)

*Double pause* Before the jokes, I must really compliment this guy who wrote the GP essay I just read. In my opinion, which is totally subjective and unreliable, he has not answered the question to his full potential. However, he has managed to write such a long essay in 1.5 hours! Moreover, he has perfected his use of the english language. Kudos to you!

*Triple pause* As what JS stated, the next essay is really "solid". Really makes me feel so ashamed of my GP. Now I truly know what a professional is like and how people can actually get A1 for their GP! RJC is RJC, the standard is really far off. I'm just a mere student from NYJC. I'm far off, but I still have 1 year to improve myself. We'll never know the real victor till then. =D

Courtesy of JS, he has kindly hoped to include the link to the RJC GP Essays for all our dearest classmates to take a look at.

(In case all of you were wondering again, the 1st essay I mentioned is entitled: " "In war, no one wins." Discuss." and the 2nd is entitled: " 'Reading is a lost art.' Discuss.")

Even after the GP overdose, I still have to be good to what I said, so, here are the jokes for you to enjoy! Pardon me if you have heard them before. =D

Now, for the top of my list:

1. Two man were walking down the street when they stopped in front of a certain something. One man stooped down to take a closer look. "Looks like shit.". The other man went on his knees and sniffed at it. "Smells like shit.". Both stuck their finger into it and put it into their mouths. "Tastes like shit.". Both smiled at each other and exclaimed proudly, "Luckily we didn't step on it!"

2. Gary was in jail. One day, he received a letter from his wife. "I have decided to plant some tapioca in the back garden. When is the best time to plant it? Gary knew that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter, "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I planted all the gold." Two weeks later, he received another letter from his wife. " You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden!" Gary wrote another letter: "Now is the best time to plant the tapioca."

3. Guy (as always): Honey, which one do you like better, my perfect body or my beautiful face?
Girl: Your sense of humour. (now we girls know how to answer such questions. *smirks*)

4. When the soldier runs away from battle, he will be shot for cowardice. When the officer runs away from battle, he is ordering a temporary withdrawal. If the general runs away from battle, he is making a strategic re-deployment.

5. A man had fallen between the rails in the Novena MRT station. People were crowding around trying to get him out before the train ran him over, They were all shouting "Give me your hand!" but the man would not reach up. Ah Guan pushed through the crowd and asked the man, "Friend, what is your profession?" "I am an income tax collector, from Revenue House," gasped that man. "In that case, take my hand!" The man immediately grasped Ah Guan's hand and was hauled to safety. Ah Guan turned to the amazed bystanders and said, "You fools! Never ask a tax man to give you anything!"

6. As the consultant slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he asked, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street," replied the doctor. "We didn't want you to think the operation had been a failure."

7. Ronnie asked his father. "Dad, can you help me with my school work? What is politics?" The father replied, "Well, let me explain. I bring back the cash, so let's call me 'Capitalism'. Your mother is the administrator, so we'll call her the 'Government'. We take care of your needs, so we'll call you 'The People'. We'll call the maid 'The Working Class', and your baby brother we can call 'The Future'. In the middle of the night David woke up and heard his baby brother crying. He checked and found that his brother had soiled his diaper. He went to his parent's room and found his mother sleeping. He called her, but she continued sleeping. He went to the maid's room where he say his father with the maid. Finally he returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next day in school, his teacher asked him, "David, please explain to the class what you understand about politics." "Well, the Working Class is fooling around with Capitalism. The Government is sleeping, and completely ignoring The People. I looked and saw that the Future is full of shit." (What? You are part of the Government? Not happy? SO SUE ME! This is exactly what is happening in Singapore. Sue me for slander? TRY, AND FAIL YOU WILL.)

8. Ah Seng was a clever boy, but he was always talking and never paying attention in class. One day the teacher decided to teach him a lesson by asking him a trick question, "Ah Seng, how do you keep an idiot in suspense?" "I will tell you later, teacher," came Ah Seng's quick reply.

9. John: My boss made the best after dinner speech I've ever heard.
Wife: What was it that he said?
John: Bill please!

10. Moses went alone to the new restaurant and ordered a medium-sized steak. The waiter brought him a huge steak. Moses told all his friends about his meal and invited them to join him there next week. But much to their surprise, the waiter brought them the tiniest steaks they had ever seen. "Hey waiter," Moses said, "last week when i was here, you served me a giant steak, but this week, you're serving us tiny ones." "Well," said the waiter, "last week you were sitting by the window!"

A bonus one for all of you, so that when your sibling irritates you one day, you'll know how to ridicule them.

Elton: I think you are wanted on the phone.
Sibling: Why do you think so?
Elton: The voice said, "Is that you, you stupid idiot?!"

(Tip: Emphasise on the word 'think', and your sibling would most probably ask why. Otherwise, you can just say: I think you are wanted on the phone because the voice said, "Is that you, you stupid idiot?!". Or you can use moron. Or whatever you think better describes your sibling.)

Well, I hope that you people have a good laugh over these jokes. And I hope that 10 is enough for you. In case you were wondering for the 3rd time, all these jokes are typed out, not copied and pasted from somewhere, and I get tired from the typing too, so I can't type like 100 jokes even though I'd love to do that.

Lastly, go read the GP essays and marvel at the language gap between RJC and NYJC students. (Again, NO SARCASM intended--for those who can't appreciate a nice little harmless joke. =D)

加油，加油，加油！

Love you guys lots,
rachie

May I add that if any government people are still sore on that government joke, you guys have ABSOLUTELY no sense of humour at all. And, I'm still waiting for someone to sue me. Whatever, morons.

Happy Birthday Tuanyi

first off happy 17th bdae tuanyi... duno if u will be reading this or not lah... but just post to show my sincerity.. hha lol.. i think e time u see this most prob be after promos.
i think u quite suay cos promos period come then u birthday whereas my bdae so nice no exam, no test, no midyaer, no nothing.. haha.. nice right...then cos of promos most ppl will 4get (unlike mi) about ur bdae lah.. LoL
haha just wanna wish u happy bdae..wish u be happy everyday.. and erm u wan a bdae cake? this one ask either e welfare rep or treasurer.. haha pw rep not responsible for this..u wan a bdae song?
"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to Tuanyi
Happy Birthday to you!"

"aniwaez yarz 1 more yr n u can watch m-18 movies alreadi
exciteD?!" <== wad u posted on my bdae... haha i know u are excited.. lol
ok tts all for now lahz.. gonna go try "study" liao.. haha

ur dearest zhongwei

Details for inter-house games

hey peeps..here is the details for inter-house games..every class gotta sign up for sth..so join!!haha....itz during the open house day
This is the details for the inter-house games. These are all given to us by the various CCA Teachers-in-charge. As notified, it is compulsory for each class to take part in at least ONE game. There is no limit to the number of teams each class wants to form. Participation is greatly encouraged. Participants from the previous signing up are still kept. They have the option to choose whether they still want to stick to the previous team or form a new team.

Soccer

Each team consists of 6 boys
Maximum of 2 college team players per team
Duration of the match is 30 minutes

Table Tennis

Each team consists of 4 boys and 3 girls
Maximum of 2 college team players per team

Badminton

Each team consists of 4 boys and 4 girls

Touch Rugby

Each team consists of 3 boys and 3 girls
Maximum of 1 college team player per team

Basketball

Each team consists of 7 players
Maximum of 2 college team players per team

Squash

Each team consists of 3 players
Maximum of 1 college team player per team

Tennis


Each team consists of 7 players
Maximum 1 college team player per team
Game format – First to reach 9 games
No-Advantage rule at deuce game score

Volleyball

Each team consists of 3 boys and 3 girls
Maximum 2 college team players per team
No ‘Libero’ allowed

last but not least..good luck and jia you to all of ya!!i haven blogged for a longggggg time..haha...come back after promos!=))

-wensx-

Again...

Err.. uploaded the answers le. Tell me if the link is down.. dl asap. I included some gp notes.. dunno if useful anot. Wait for people to see first. All the best!~

Js
http://www2.spread-it.com/dl.php?id=7320828c9153b2a9848d6bc45d3544236b22fc48

Chem Promo Paper Answers

alright peeps.. i uploaded the promo paper answers liao..
heres the link

http://s9.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=011EAOWUY2OFO2UIG9QUK8V6LU

its a zip file wif like 11pages of answers... try to get it asap.. and tell mi when e link is down.. supposed to be limited to 7days of file transfer only

Zhongwei

hey peeps, studying i suppose...

anyway...i was juz tinking abt our class n stuff...n i realise dat our class dun really display sensitivity to other people's feelings, me included (or shd i say, me de most insensitive? haha...i apologise here 1st okai? SORRY!! =D) ya, so anyway, sometimes certain things dat u say will really hurt someone's feelings lar...i'm not trying to pinpoint on anybody lar, since i'm most probably very insensitive oso. 1stly, i must clarify someting arh! i am not de petty kind okai??!! when u talk to me, wan to suan me, dun have to say no offence, no offence, or beat ard de bush lar...i noe, my temper is darn bad, i'm trying to control it, trust me, i will! anyway, if u hav anyting to say, juz say it okai? even though i might b offended, but i will 4get over it very fast de...everybody is entitled to free speech rite? it is when u don't say it straight in my face, n try to beat ard de bush dat sometimes hurt other people's feelings...lyk me, if u beat ard de bush, but i dun get ur msg, den i will juz treat it lyk a joke...but if i get wad you r trying to say, den i will feel very upset dat u can't juz say it in my face when it is actually a very small matter...and i say again, trust me okai?! i am not a petty person! at most i angry 1 or 2 hrs onli (=D a lot arh?) ! really...den i will feel guilty dat i lost my temper lar...so next time, im begging u guys, anyting, juz say it in my face lyk a mature adult k? dun try 2 pass me msges using body language or gigglegiggle lyk u joking wif me lyk dat, but in actual fact telling me smting...

i realise i'm contradicting myself lar...but i hope u guys noe wad i mean lor...if u see all things lyk maturely (can improve gp leh) and communicate lyk a mature adult den dere wun b any hurt feelings lor...dis kind is call 爱心说诚实话。juz lyk it suggests, it means dat when we wana say somethings, we r direct, but dere is no malice intended, n we dun mean to hurt anyone...i'm not trying to preach, but a few ppl including myself feel dat de class not displaying enough sensitivity even though in actual fact, evryone is concerned abt one another...

and, i noe a few people are in a stage of their lives where they r feeling very lost...summore muz face promos, and all de stress...i juz wana let u guys noe, dat even if u r feeling very lost, very stressed, there is some1 who is definitely feeling more lost den u, so u noe u r not alone rite? anyting can come talk 2 me lar...and, i hope dat if i hurt any of ur feelings, i apologise, n den, if i'm going to hurt u in future, juz tell me straight in de face and remind me that i said i wan to b nice okai...and if i start losing my temper, please tell oso remind me dat i muz not lose my temper okai?

and, to start on the road of being nice, i'm going to extend an offer to all my beloved classmates...if u want me to go through your proposal, EOM or written report or anyting lyk dat, including gp essay, etcetc for grammatical errors, sentence structure, expressions etc etc...i'd b very glad to do it okai? and i hope, i haven't offended anyone of u in my entry, let's face it maturely okai?

love ya guys lots,
rachie

p.s. everybody muz smile wide wide evryday okai? i lyk very long nv see some people laugh n smile le! MUST SMILE OKAI! and is de wide wide big big kind of smile! lyk dat--> XD big smile until de eyes oso can't c okai! SMILE NOW! XD! 加油，加油，加油！

Making You Laugh

The Daily Bread
The president of Coca-Cola walks into the Vatican City and asks
to see the Pope. Once in audience with the pope he says, "Father
if I gave you one million dollars, next time you lead the
prayers at mass, would you say, 'Give us this day our daily
Coca-Cola?'" "No," says the Pope, "I couldn't possibly do that."

The next day the President of Coca-Cola comes back and says,
"I'll pay you two million dollars to say in prayer, 'Give us
this day our daily Coca-Cola.'" The pope says, "No I couldn't
poss..." "Three million," the president inturupts. "No I will
not do it." "Ok. Ok." says the president of Coca-Cola, "But I
can't imagine what the bakeries must be paying you."

The Golf Game
One beautiful Saturday afternoon a priest and a man are golfing.

The priest tees-off first making a beautiful shot on the
fairway. Next the man hits and his shot crashes into the water
trap. "God-damn it I missed!" the man exclaims in anger.

"Be careful or God will strike you with a lightning bolt," the
priest replies.

One the next tee the priest makes a nice shot onto the green
while the man's lands in the sand. "God-damn it I missed!"

"Be careful or God will strike you with a lightning bolt," the
priest says.

Next hole the priest gets the play within range for an eagle
put. The man shots and again it flys into the water. "God-damn
it I missed!" as the man said this the sky clouded over. All of
a sudden a lightning bolt came down and hit the priest.

The man looked up to hear, "God-damn it I missed!"

Who is that man?
A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his
mother, "Who is this guy on the beach with you, with all the
muscles and curly hair?" "That's your father," said the mother.
The boy seemed astonished as he said to his mom, "Then who's
that old baldheaded fat man that lives with us now?"

3 Criminals
Three not-so-bright men were caught and charged with armed-robbery in a
small Mexican pueblo. They went to trial before the local judge, who was a
very hard man, and he sentenced all three men to death. The day arrived
quickly and the executioner(who was also the judge) ordered all three to
the execution chamber. "The guard will bring you in one at a time to meet
your fate. But to show you that I am not a cruel man, I will give each one
of you the choice to die by the electric chair, or to die in the gas
chamber."
The guard escorts the first man into the chamber. "Which will it
be", demands the executioner, "the chair or the chamber?" The first man
thinks a second then decides the chair would be a quicker death. He's
strapped in, and the switch is thrown. Nothing. The executioner flips the
switch several times more, cleans the contacts, and tries again. Still
nothing. "Today is your lucky day. Fate wants you spared, so you are
spared. But you will have to watch your compadres die."

The guard brings in the second man, and he also chooses the electric chair.
They strap him in, and again nothing happens. They spend the next hour checking
everything, and still nothing. "Today is your lucky day. Fate wants you
spared, but you will have to watch you compadre die." The final man is
brought into the chamber, and his compadres whisper loudly to him, "The
chair is broken! The chair is broken!" "Shush!", yells the executioner,
and he demands, "Do you want to die by the electric chair, or the in gas
chamber?!"

The prisoner thinks a second then replies, "Well, since the electric chair
is broken, I guess I'll have to go with the gas chamber!"

zhongwei

Hey all.

I know some of you are super stressed out by all the tutorials, revision and pw etc.. I am too. Kind of. Although I'm still watching Mr Bean on teevee instead of studying. Haha.

Yeah, so don't get too stress til you forget to smile okayyy? Some of you look like you're gonna cry. But it's okay to cry. I always feel like murdering people when I'm doing physics, so it's understandable. ;-)

And also, take care of your health. The weather is kind of cold now. Easy to get sick. Get more sleep(I'm telling myself this, actually) !! My sleeping hours are in a mess.

So yeah, and EAT EAT EAT !! Eating is always good. Eating gives strength. Eating is FUN.

And someone suggested to me last week about having the classmates write short notes of encouragements to each other. I thought that's really nice. But maybe some of you may not have time for that. So it's ok. Just throwing ideas out here. Haha.

And most importantly, do entertain each other and make yourself laugh! (Even though it may make you look kind of looney. hahas.)


mayeeeeeeeee.

Johnson's Philosophy

1. My dad's been like a father to me.
2. If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, don't exaggerate.
3. The problem with going overseas is that there's too many foreigners.
4. If you've got one foot in the grave then you should probably stop robbing peoples coffins.
5. Women are so stereotypical.
6. Kids act so childishly.
7. The grass is always greener on the other side because they've obtained a more advanced sprinkler system.
8. If your 'over the moon'. Congratulations your an astronaut.
9. Before you judge someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he is angry, he is a mile away and barefooted.

Zhongwei

hey peeps...in an extremely bad mood 2dai...bt since of of u r my beloved classmates...i'm sure u guys will share bad mood wif me rite (^.^)...so 2dae...since gt an irritating guy irritate me...i shall complain abt guys...

wad is de actual adolescent age of boys?! wad i mean is when do dey actually grow up?? y do dey always ask de same questions over n over again?? can't dey see dat i am SOOO TOTALLY NOT INTERESTED in their life...specifically their love life -_-"'...y bother to make me guess hu lyks hu? i mean...lesbianism...gayism...b-g relationship...u guys can have all these...honestly...it really doesn't bother me...i won't discriminate against u juz because u r homosexual...wadeva...

n y do guys lyk to ask girls dis freak question: do u tink i am handsome?

hw r we supposed to answer your question?! please enlighten us can? i mean, if u r ugly, how r we supposed 2 tell u dat?? u will juz make tings sooooo difficult for us! n if u r so cute, wad's de point of asking...juz make us awkward...and if u r in de middle, hw r we supposed to tell u dat too?! all i can say is...diff guys hav diff good points n bad points...some guys can b very cute, bt so WAD?????!!!! their character r lyk so...UGH~~~and some guys can b ugly, bt dey r very nice wad...bt if anyone of u noe hw 2 answer such a question, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME!

n can i ask another question?! y r guys so sensitive to their own feelings n so insensitive to other people's feelings? and here's so weird guys: PLEASE DON'T TINK EVERYBODY LYKS U CAN?!! IF ANIONE LYKS YOU ITS MOST PROBABLY BCOS DEY R NICE AND NOT BECAUSE ANYONE LYKS U OKAI??!!! n b more sensitive 2 other ppl feelings can or not??!! 18 days??!!! and u say u wan 2 break up wif a girl juz because u lyk another girl...and even if u wan 2 break up, can use betta way not...where gt ppl every day tok abt another girl wan...hw u wan her 2 react?!!

okai...i'm sorry to make de poor guys in our class suffer de bane of my complaints...bt some ppl r juz intolerable lar...

i tink be guy very good lei...wif de exception of having 2 go 4 ns...otherwise...i tink all aspects of being a guy is good lar...in terms of having 2 dress, no worries! shirt+jeans n u guys r done...n den...u all can b so evil n actually nt b bothered abt it at all...and de best, u guys can actually be not sensitive abt hw others feel...wad de others say is true...other then money, n relationship problems, guys literally hav no other problems at all...(ya, slap me if i'm wrong...i deserve dat...)

anyway...our class ppl still very good n very cute okai?? esp shariff!! can u please please please please please teach me hw 2 play electric guitar??!! please please please please please???!!!! haha...i really wan 2 learn lar...after promos muz teach me okai? muz arh?

lastly, i juz wana say...

人好难做，做人好难， 好人难做，男人好做！

yup, u guessed right...its dat tym of de month again...

A joke. Not cold nor lame. Must read.

This is a joke that was intercepted by the Sith Infiltrator today. The Sith Adminstration thought it'll be nice to share with the class of 05S3D for we are all with the Dark Side... ^.^ Take it as a form of distressment. Enjoy~!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Divert your course:

This is the actual radio conversation of a US Naval Ship with Canadian Authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation released by the chief of naval operations, 10.10.95.

Canadians: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend that you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is a Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the Aircraft Carrier US LINCOLN, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic Fleet. We are accompanied with 3 Destroyers, 3 Cruisers and numerous support vessels. I DEMAND that you change YOUR course 15 degrees north. I say again, that's one-five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Pigcess is here!!

wow..it's been a very very long time since my last posting something..haha..for ur information..i seldom go online and.im lazy to go online..i rather sleep..erm..promo...next week..so fast...and believe it or not..i've not started my revision..only try to finish my tutorial everyday..tutorial n tutorial..but also couldnt complete in time..can u imagine that?? anyway..just wanna wish all of you good luck and all the best in the promo..must do well and be promoted to year 2..as for me..maybe u guys wont get to see me next year..i may be going back to KL.haha..so,u guys must....must study hard!!love ya!muackss! =X
best wishes,
mf pigcess 2005'

SO BUSY??!!

hey peeps!! r u guys so bz dat u guys can't blog anymore? hmm...or isit dat all internet connection is down for all of u except me? well, if its de 1st case, den mayb some of u r so bored...cos after a heavy bout of physics maths chem, wadeva, u decided to come n destress by visiting our class blog (since u noe a certain person, aka me, with such humour, wit, and wad-hav-u might decide to blog, or mayb some other person might blog smting...)...only to scream out horrifically: "y no one blog yet??!!! i'm so bored!! can some one blog new entry not??"

so, my dear friends...in order to prevent u guys frm stress or boredom, or to prevent u guys frm going bald since u might b tearing you hair being so horrifically shocked dat no one wants to blog in our blog after so long, i shall now present you guys with a new post!! well, since i don't have anyting interesting to talk abt except for myself, i shall talk about myself! whee~~exciting right? well, sit tight, don't get too excited!!

okai...so today...IS SUCH A BORING DAY IN SCH!!! so, i shall skip dat boring part...ugh~ de fun part starts when i went home wif zw...(okai...is nt de zw part dat's xciting okai...-_-"' don't read too much into it...) you noe y??!! cos he is so darn funnie lar! i was toking to him abt tv...den he tell me he very little watch tv wan...den i ask him y...you noe wad he told mee???!!! HE TELL ME HE WATCH TV WATCH UNTIL SIAN OREDI!!!!!!! can you believe dat??!!! hahahahaha....i have never ever heard of anyone hu can watch tv watch until sian...den i ask him isit becos he watch tv as in literally dun on de tv den juz look at it lar...den he say no, he watch de programs until sian...OMG!! if its de 1st case den i understand lar...where gt ppl can watch tv watch until sian wan??!! can anyone tell mee??!! okai, brace urselves...dis is not de funniest part okai...den ltr we continue to toking...he tell me he oso play pc until sian (dis wan i understand larm but tv??! hw to watch until sian??!)...den i decided ask him if he's tired of studying, since he's lyk mugging everyday...den u no wad he tell me...HE TELL ME HE NOT SIAN OF STUDYING BCOS HE SIAN OF STUDYING UNTIL NOT SIAN OREDI!!!!!!!!!!! omg, dis was de last straw lar...den throughout the whole tym i was shooping i kept laughing...odearodear...so funnie...(oy! i'm nt evil okai! AND I AM NOT TEASING ZW!! so betta dun hav anyone say i'm evil or say i bad hor! i onli mention him cos i noe he won't mind, rite, dearest zw??)

haha...okai...a bit stoopid...fine, i shall slap myself for being so evil lar...(I AM NOT LAR!) *SLAP!* haha...and i muz tell of of you wad a nice sister i am...cos i am so proud of myself!! i spent 90 bucks on my bro's bdae pressie!! so nice rite??!! i'm not even so nice to myself lar...awww....so sweet, do i hear u say...(no lar, no lar *smiles bashfully*) haha...yay! my bro hughug me oso! whee~ so happie!! it really betta to give den to receive (so wad abt buying things for me in future so u can hav such a feeling too, hmmm??)

haha...and i muz really say smting abt weiliang here lar...weiliang!! u rock man!! i tink u r lyk so witty...haha...yup...smtyms u really make my day by saying stoopid stuff lar...esp during lunch...very very entertaining to sit wif u lar...very fun lar...tankeww arhh...haha...n chiet...thanks 4 making my day some tyms too, and 4 all ur notes lar...haha, always 4get 2 giv u back den make u canot do tutorial...=D...n zw, always let me suan u...haha...won't upset rite? haha...and ben arh...dun stress lar...play tennis is good wad...2 hrs is nt 2 much lar...u noe u can do it de rite? won't fail gp de...trust me okai? n tanks 2 evryone else oso lar...=D

hai...its soooo boring now...so i shall WATCH TV! ZW, NO ONE CAN EVER BE SIAN WATCHING TV OKAI!...awww, i'm sorry for disappointing you guys by ending my blog entry, but the good things never last foreva rite? so, lets part ways for now, dear friends...

turning to the dark side since darth sidious n vaders lightsabers are so much nicer den the bright side's...
rachie

AND IF ANYONE DARES TO TELL ME DEY R VERY SCARED DEY WILL RETAIN BCOS DEY WILL FAIL GP AGAIN, I WILL PERSONALLY SLAP U WIF A TROUT! BECOS I SAY U WON'T RETAIN, SO WON'T RETAIN OKAI??!!!!!

once again, 加油！加油！加油！！！

Daily Survival Kit

These are the items that we should have in our daily survival kit!

Toothpick:

To remind me to pick out the good qualities in others

Rubberband:

To remind me to be flexible.

Band Aid:

To remind me to heal hurt feelings.

Pencil:

To remind to list my blessings everyday.

Eraser:

To remind me everyone makes mistakes.

Chewing Gum:

To reming me to 'stick' throughout everything I do.

Mint:

To remind me I am worth a mint.

Candy Kiss:

To remind me that everyone needs a kiss or hug.

Tea Bag:

To remind me to relax and go over my list of blessings.

Your not-so-helpful, turning-to-the-dark-side stress unreliever,
Rachel

P.S. 加油！加油！加油！！！

Wonderful Physics

Physics Exam

The following concerns a question in a physics degree exam at the University of Copenhagen:

"Describe how to determine the height of a skyscraper with a barometer."

One student replied:
"You tie a long piece of string to the neck of the barometer, then lower the barometer from the roof of the skyscraper to the ground. The length of the string plus the length of the barometer will equal the height of the building."

This highly original answer so incensed the examiner that the student was failed immediately.
He appealed on the grounds that his answer was indisputably correct, and the university appointed an independent arbiter to decide the case. The arbiter judged that the answer was indeed correct, but did not display any noticeable knowledge of physics. To resolve the problem it was decided to call the student in and allow him six minutes in which to provide a verbal answer which showed at least a minimal familiarity with the basic principles of physics. For five minutes the student sat in silence, forehead creased in thought. The arbiter reminded him that time was running out, to which the student replied that he had several extremely relevant answers, but couldn't make up his mind which to use. On being advised to hurry up the student replied as follows:

"Firstly, you could take the barometer up to the roof of the skyscraper, drop it over the edge, and measure the time it takes to reach the ground. The height of the building can then be worked out from the formula s = ut + ½at²<=> H = ½gt². But bad luck on the barometer."

"Or if the sun is shining you could measure the height of the barometer, then set it on end and measure the length of its shadow. Then you measure the length of the skyscraper's shadow, and thereafter it is a simple matter of proportional arithmetic to work out the height of the skyscraper."

"But if you wanted to be highly scientific about it, you could tie a short piece of string to the barometer and swing it like a pendulum, first at ground level and then on the roof of the skyscraper. The height is worked out by the difference in the gravitational restoring force
T = 2pi (l/g)^½."

"Or if the skyscraper has an outside emergency staircase, it would be easier to walk up it and mark off the height of the skyscraper in barometer lengths, then add them up."

"If you merely wanted to be boring and orthodox about it, of course, you could use the barometer to measure the air pressure on the roof of the skyscraper and on the ground, and convert the difference in millibars into feet to give the height of the building."

But since we are constantly being exhorted to exercise independence of mind and apply scientific methods, undoubtedly the best way would be to knock on the janitor's door and say to him 'If you would like a nice new barometer, I will give you this one if you tell me the height of this skyscraper'."

The student was Nils Bohr, the only Dane to win the Nobel prize for Physics.

So next time if a physics question asks u to find the velocity of a car at time t=5s, u can ask the examiner to look at the speedometer for the speed and win a nobel prize.

Zhongwei

stress relievers!

Its been another boring day for me, and for everyone else too, I suppose. So I shall do all my dearest friends a favor! Promos coming? No fear! I shall pen down my list of stress relievers. For what, do I hear you say? FOR RELIEVING STRESS, DUH!

1. Make sarcastic comments about everything.

2. Scream. (Hope that your irritating neighbour gets the benefit of all your screams.)

3. Scold everybody you can find. (If you happen to make any of them cry or upset, pass them this set of stress relievers too.)

4. Bang HARD on the table.

5. Hit your head.

6. Kick the wall. (Punching is also another alternative.)

7. Pinch yourself. (Or biting, whichever you prefer.)

8. Sleep.

9. Cry. (Drink lots of water to prevent dehydration.)

10. Pray.

11. Sing. (Loudly. You will realise that if you manage to irritate the rest of the people around you, you will relieve stress more effectively. However, I just can't seem to irritate the people around me when I sing. Hmmm, do I sing too well? *applause! standing ovation!* Thank you! Thank you!)

12. Bang the door. (Bang your front door for the best effect. It scares all your neighbours.)

13. Draw. (Using a pencil please. Trees are scarce. If you are stressed again the next time, you can always erase the previous drawing and draw again.)

14. Play any kind of intrument. (Drums would be the most ideal. You get to relieve stress AND irritate all your family members AND neighbours. What do they call this in chinese? Ahh, I remember. 一石二鸟。一举两得。一箭双雕。anymore?)

15. Talking to ME! (this is the best. trust me. i always talk to myself. surely i know best?)

PLEASE NOTE:
All the above stress relievers are for recreational purpose only. If you decide to use these methods and the unfortunate happens, I will not bear any responsibilty for any sustained injuries OR pay any compensation for any properties or objects damaged in the process.

DISCLAIMER:
Despite the fact that there are alot of stress relievers which include irritating family members, friends and neighbours, rest assured that I do not treat them as such. Just in case any of you are wondering, I have very nice neighbours and friends too, thank you.

Loving all (or in loving memory of those who perish in using any of the above methods),

Your dearest stress reliever,
Rachel

AarrgGG!! Insomnia again!!

HELP!!! duno y i in sch or at where always sleepy... but when its time to sleep.. alwys can't sleep! ARRRRGGGG! SIAN!!how!? anyone can help? got any tips on how to sleep naturally?? its 3:51am liao!! bleah!!2more days to sch reopen! and im still not sleeping even at 4am! arr
die!
zhongwei

PHoto photos photo!

for the benefit of others.. here's some photos i take during the yellow ribbon project.. though i din see some of u.

http://www.imagestation.com/album/index.html?id=2121293261

grrrr....ahhhh....

oh yes, liu xin yu juz reminded mee!!! i missed stayover at munfoong's hse! u noe hw pissed i am? u noe?????!!!!!!!! y?! y?! y?! y i muz hav band tunein on sat?! i feel lyk killing myself! arh...........

feeling depressed, cos i missed stayover...
rachieeee....='(

i am so saaaddddddddd.......when r we going 2 hav dis opportunity again?... sigh~.....

GP IS EASY 2 PASS!

hey peeps...feel very bored nw, and being de nice person i am...i have decided 2 help my dearest frens hu insist dey will fail gp 4 promos, despite me telling dem dey wun fail, dey wun fail...so adamant abt failing huh? let me tell u AGAIN!! it is very HARD 2 fail gp de okae? last yr i tink dun even have one retain bcos dey fail gp okae? so PLEASE DUN WORRY ANYMORE! juz pass all ur other subjects kae? jiayou...

however, we shd all b careful rite? i mean, even though ii'm quite sure none of u will retain bcos u fail gp, bt it doesn't mean u go and fail gp 4 promos rite...so, i shall teach u de basics of passing compo...well, i can't do anyting 4 compre, i'm still trying 2 find out hw 2 gt 35 and above so i wun hav 2 score full marks 4 compo 2 gt an a 4 gp...well another ting, u shd nv b depressed bcos u failed any of ur gp tests or exams okae...cos, gp is a very subjective subject...so...even if u fail now, it does nt mean u wun gt a1 4 gp in a levels kae? a lot of crap, but here goes:

1stly, one muz noe how 2 choose de topic rite? dere are a few topics dat one shd nv touch unless u have a very mature mind (erm, our class, i tink, betta all dun touch lar =)) and...even if u have a very mature mind rite (which in our class, wif de exception of ben xiao jie, i tink oso dun hav lar...wahaha...), u muz noe hw 2 write maturely...so, dun ever touch a topic dat asks u 2 comment on "teenage life" and "sch life" etc etc! as long as de topic asks u 2 comment on ur life, or anyting else 2 do with u, DUN TOUCH IT! this is de topic dat will kill u...bcos, u might b accused of complaining...the topics dat wan shd touch are topics dat has a lot of evidence to back it up, eg, science and tech (dis is de topic i always choose, without fail, unless deres smting seriously wrong wif it). dat is y it is very important to read up on de recent advancements in s&t. u can find all de info online or on newpapers. and u noe wad is de best ting abt writing s&t? wadeva u read up on will ALWAYS b tested...if u still insist on nt writing abt topics dat will b based on pure evidence, den let me teach u hw 2 choose de topic ok? lets take de last gp compo we did. i'm going 2 analyse de questions one by one okae? wait, 2ndly, muz tell u all de basic requirements:

1. ur compo muz at least hav 6 points. (5 if u have a lot of evidence 2 substantiate all ur 5 points, bt 6 is better.) the max points u shd write is 7. 4 for pros, 2 for cons, (or 4/3 for pros, 3/2 for cons if u write 7/5 points). u shd nv write balanced points, as in 3 pros, 3 cons...otherwise u canot state ur stand.

2. u essay shd ideally be 2.5 pages long. i say ideally, so dun "huuuuuhhhhhhh" me...(haha!) bt at least try n write 2 full pages k? 1.5 page is really 2 short.

3. each pt should at least b 10 lines long (no leaving spaces in btwn lines!!). and no blabbering (as in dun keep on reapeating urself)! no sweeping statements! each point MUST b fully substantiated with evidence!

ok, dats abt all. nw 2 analayse de questions:

q1. why read when can watch movie?
dis q can write, bt it is based largely on ur own opinion. so if u tink u have enough points (mature ones, i state again...), den dis topic is writable.

q2. there r no great leaders today. dya?
erm, please dun write dis topic unless u r fanatical abt politics. and, realise de word TODAY. u noe wad dis means, it means u muz compare wif de past. unless u r so familiar wif de qualities of a great leader, and u noe dat dere r good leaders in de past bt not 2day, i beg u nt 2 do dis topic. in dis case, de past is very impt, cos its half de essence of ur essay.

q3. tv canot b blamed 4 violence 2day. wdut?
dis q is also writable, BUT, it has oredi narrowed a lot abt wad u can say, and wad u might have studied 4 mass media, bcos dey specifically wan u 2 write abt TV. bt i suppose, tv is still wan of de main sources of entertainment in everybody's life, and it still can b blamed (4 ur sake, i would suggest dat u write dat it can b blamed, cos dere r more tings 2 say). however, please note dat dere is de scary word TODAY again. so means u muz at least make a small reference 2 de past. dunnid 2 b big, in dis case, de past is nt really impt.

q4. is it always rite 4 de rich 2 giv 2 de poor?
social question. dis question is really controversial. if u r lyk me, hu hope dat de rich will giv 2 de poor, but on ur own will not giv 2 de poor, den please dun write dis topic. u will nt have sufficient points and will juz b repeating de same pts over n over again. however, if u are very adamant abt de rich giving/not giving 2 de poor, and have at least 5 substantiable points, this q is also nt 2 dangerous if ur style of writing is correct.

q5. despite living in a modern society, y r some ppl still superstitious?
dis topic is not advisable 2 write. bcos, de q itself is very hard 2 understand. wad does it mean my modern society? wad has modern society got 2 do with superstition? all these question u muz answer n define urself. so not advisable. moreover, i canot tink of any pts 2 answer dis q.

q6. s&t has made de world a better place 2 live in, dya?
i chose dis topic. bt dis question is abit subjective. bcos de marker might interpret in a way dat is different frm u. and de only way if u meet with such a case is whether ur language is gd enough 2 convince de marker dat ur interpretation might also b correct. eg, mr seah gave me de comment dat i shd concentrate on HOW life is better (or not) apart frm can s&t CAN do 4 us. another problem is dat, s&t has really made our lives better in so many so many ways. so one must know how 2 choose which are de most impt points, which i tink i hav failed in dis case. and there also must b sufficient points 2 refute ur own arguments.

q7. sports bring out de best n worst in people.
nt really good 2 do dis q. because all u can say is abt sportsmanship (please say i'm wrong, but de onli ting i can c dat i can write abt is sportsmanship or showmanship). so, unless u can really tink of so many pts, which i dun tink so, unless u really have witnessed a very obvious difference in de best and de worst, dun write dis q.

q8. war achieves nothing. comment.
on de surface, dis q looks easy 2 do. bt if u tink deeper, u will realise dat dis q is all abt interpretation of de q. and dis q is really very controversial. moreoever, dis q requires u 2 write in a very formal language. i dun really noe hw 2 interpret dis q, bt lets say i almost gt tricked into doing dis q. i 4got my actual reason abt y i chose s&t over dis war q.

q9. wad problems will threated human survival in 21st century?
wad de...an absolute NO q. threaten human survival?! almost impossible. de only possible way is war (or mayb an alien invasion). do u tink u will have enough points 2 write abt hw war will threaten our survival? enough said, juz dun do it.

q10. a man with no formal education has no future. dya?
writable. bt please take de correct stand, which is to disagree wif de question. and u will have 2 define "no future" which is a tad tricky. define correctly, substantiate ur points well, wif mature tinking, and u will pass! hooray!

q11. hw far do dreams make a diff in one's life?
can do. it would b betta if ur dream made a diff in ur life. bt please please! dun write abt hw it has affected u. bt use a formal way of writing 2 express hw it has affected u. dun use urself as an example. use someone dat is very successful because of his dreams. (i tink dere is an astronaut hu became n astronaut becos his dreams was 2 become an astronaut. haha)

q12. a person shd always choose a job he or she can find most satisfaction working in. is dis good advice 2 follow?
nice q 2 do. because have enough points 2 write 4 both sides of de story. tricky part is 2 choose de correct side. so plan ur points properly 1st and make sure de side u r supporting has more points and is de stronger stand.

well, i hope de analysis was of use. nex is 2 giv u guys some tips:

1. intro is really really impt. i canot emphasize more on de emphasis of GOOD INTRO. please plan ur intro properly. it would b ideal to write a draft copy of ur intro. once ur intro is written well, de rest of your essay will b flow very well.

2. dun rush 2 write ur essay. i always c ppl rushing 2 write their essay after 2-3 min of planning. not enough. plan 4 AT LEAST 5 min. tink of all de points u can possibly tink of. dun leave out any! it is ok 2 plan 4 10-15 min (INCLUDING ur draft intro!). when u r planning ur essay, its always good 2 mark out at least 1 other alternative topic. compare and c which of de 2 topic will yield u de most points, and is de easier 2 substanstiate. dun write de essay already, den decide u have nt enough pts and change q. dun do dat. u r depriving urself of tym.

*3. in every point, ur last sentence should always link back 2 de question. dis is 2 assure de marker dat u have not gone out of point. u MUST link back 2 de question. say how ur point will affect de topic u r doing on.

4. a good conclusion is also as important as ur intro. u will have 2 make a last good impression b4 de marker gives u marks. one way 2 do it is 2 use absolute and chim words. bt please onli use dem is u understand de meaning, otherwise, it will make u look stupid. state ur stand one last time, and try 2 summarise de MOST important points into 3 sentences.

5. don't repeat yourself or make sweeping statements. wad i mean by making sweeping statements is u make a opinionated statement, lyk: "poor people r poor because dey nv study hard." and den u dun continue 2 explain why, juz leave it as it is. very dangerous. 4 every opinion dat u state, u will have 2 substantiate 2if evidence. repeating urself is also very dangerous. de marker will tink u r trying 2 make ur essay look longer, n dey will accuse u of blabbering.

6. don't make hypothetical statements. eg, "if he had have a dream 2 one day become a doctor, he would not hav 2 b a beggar.". dis point is also very important. many people score lower den de others because dey make 2 many hypothetical statements. wad u shd state is: "for example, "important person" once said he did not succeed because he did not hav any dreams when he was young.". the best is to not put urself in a situation where u hav 2 make hypothetical statement, cos u r walking on tightrope. dangerous zone.

7. i noe a lot of ppl tell me dat other sch tchers say dat dey dun hav 2 write 2 sides 4 certain topics. i dunno if it is true, bt all i noe is, PLEASE WRITE 2 SIDES 4 UR ESSAY OK? u have 2 refute ur points and ur stand. and as i said, ur essay canot b 2 lopsided, as in have 2 many pros over cons. follow de no of points given in de 1st para, n u shd b safe.

i tink dat's all. if hav i update again.

lastly, u can save urself by reading de newspaper. de language used dere is very formal. if u try n imitate their style of writing, u will most probably score 4 ur language. as 4 de content, read more, and u will have more content. =)

and, may i remind u guys again, de tcher's will most probably try n pass u 4 promos, so, dere is only VERY SMALL POSSIBILITY DAT U WILL B RETAINED BCOS U FAIL GP!

luv ya guys,
rachie

p.s. i noe hav a lot of grammar mistakes, i tink...so dun b cheeky n tease me 4 my use of words lyk :dun touch de topic, means i say that u shdn't touch it literally. i dun mean touch it literally k?!! i mean it fuguratively! i v. lazy 2 edit oredi lar...so, hope it has helped u! =D

Promos Incoming

hey people.. just a reminder... promos is in 3weeks time... and i checked e syllabus and realisd we have alot to cover..so i guess its best we start revising ASAP, maybe now? becos u would've realised it will be hard to complete everything in 2weeks.. summore tt 2weeks we still got sch, not like mid yers e 2 weeks b4 exam are hols. and then summore there are chapters tt will be tested and are not taught yet, thus i think we shud start STUDYING!! lets all strive and see each other in 05S3D next year!
Zhongwei

shariff

hey i think u guys shd
read my latest post at my blog..
its abt that yellow ribbon
thingy...haha...
hv fun!