Arrr.. bish...

>> >> This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much

>> >> >worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look >>at me.

>> >> >When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and >>saw

>> >> >my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and

>>pasty,

>> >> >my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this >>corpse-like look

>> >> >on my face!

>> >> >What's WRONG with me, Doctor?"

>> >> >The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then

>> >> >calmly says:

>> >> >"Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with >> >> >your eyesight...." >>

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>> >> >Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After

>> >> >a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night,

>> >> >and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his

>> >> >faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you

>> >> >see." >> >> >"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies

>> >> >Watson. "And what do you deduce from that?" Watson ponders for a >> >> >minute.

>> >> >"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions

>> >> >of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, >>I

>> >> >observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the

>>time is >> >> >approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I >> >> >suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

>>Theologically, I >> >> >can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and >

> >> >insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, >>Holmes?" >>

>> >Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he >> >> >says. "Someone has stolen our tent!" LOlZ...

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In Sam's house******************

Father: Your teacher says she finds it's impossibleto teach you anyting!
Sam: That's why I say she's no good!

----------------------------------------------------------

Father: Sam, how can you call your aunt stupid?Go and say sorry to her.
Sam: (to the aunt) Aunt, I'm sorry you're stupid.

----------------------------------------------------------Sam: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Dad: I think so, what do you want me to write?Sam: Your name on my report card.